


Make me a sammich

by AnonEhouse



Category: Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Drabble, Fluff, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-16 23:56:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3507413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/AnonEhouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony is picky about his tuna sandwich.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Make me a sammich

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

"What? What even is this?" Tony peeled the bread top off his sandwich, lifted off the iceberg lettuce leaf and peered at the filling.

"Tuna," Harley said. "Like you asked."

Tony took another experimental bite. He didn't say anything else, but Harley rolled his eyes at Tony's grimaces. He was used to a picky little sister, but a grown man acting the same way was something new. "I'll prove it."

Harley went back into the house and picked up the empty tuna can, and for good measure, the bread package and the mayo jar. "See?" He waved the tuna can and then plunked everything down on the worktop.

Tony humphed. "Oh, how do you even live on this stuff? Miracle Whip? Wonder Bread? BUMBLEBEE TUNA!"

"You're weird, you know that?"

"It's been said." Tony peered at the label. "Can you read this? Is there SOY in this?"

Harley just stared at Tony. "It's tuna."

"This stuff will kill you." Tony polished off the last of the sandwich in three bites and swigged down the glass of iced tea. "The tea was good, though."

 

Later, when Harley was itemizing the collection of goodies Tony had sent to his garage, he stubbed his toe on a cardboard carton that was heavier than it looked. He opened it to find a case of Starkist Gourmet Choice Solid Light Tuna. "Oh. Right. STARKist." He picked up a couple cans and looked at the cartoon tuna which wore a goatee. "Tuna casserole for dinner, I guess."

[](http://www.ipernity.com/doc/eclectic-house/37296172)

**Author's Note:**

> I was whining to my Partner in Crime about the misery caused me by eating Bumblebee tuna a couple days ago (the label lied, it had SOMETHING in it that messed me up). I said I should have bought StarKist instead & P.I.C. immediately replied, of course, because STARK.
> 
> She knows me well.
> 
> (Also, I think of a drabble as 100 words exactly, but the definition seems to have become 'very short fic' instead. So, ok. I try to keep my tags useful.)


End file.
